Authenticity is powerful. Being transparently you is what audiences want these days. With so many choices, people are being pickier about who they listen to. But when it comes to speaking, sometimes you really need to be somebody else. You need to steal an identity.
If you’re feeling shaky, uncertain, or lacking confidence, this can be a real lifesaver – and a time-saver.
Here’s What I Mean
You get nervous about speaking up. You tell yourself you’re no good at it. You’ve never been any good at it. Who wants to listen to you? You’re a coach, not a speaker. You’re a consultant, not a speaker. It went terrible last time. You don’t know what to say. Maybe you should cancel…. Sound familiar?
So you get scared – from jittery all the way to total nausea – and that’s just thinking about it. That’s because of your identity as a crummy speaker. In your own mind, that’s your identity in that department.
So steal somebody else’s! Borrow the identity of somebody whose speaking you admire. Think of someone who is relaxed, dynamic, attention-grabbing when they speak. You love listening to them and what they have to say.
And now BE that person. Feel the way you imagine she feels when she’s speaking. Really get into those feelings.
Close your eyes and picture yourself on the stage (or at the networking event) as that person. Have fabulous clothes on with the perfect hairstyle and makeup for you. And an amazing pair of shoes.
Now feel it in your body. Your chest is opened up. Your face is relaxed. Your shoulders are relaxed. Your back is straight. You’re smiling confidently. You’re eager to share all your good stuff with this excited audience. Really go for those feelings.
That’s your new identity. Now you’re ready to be a great speaker yourself. You can be whoever you want to be, can’t you? So why not be a great speaker? This IS you. This part of you has been in there all along. You just borrow that other identity as a mirror, and then match that image with your own feelings.
So Many Possibilities
From this position, you’ll be amazed at how much more fun you’ll have — in all stages of your speaking. Try putting on your new identity before you:
- sit down to write your script
- rehearse your talk
- present your talk
Critical point: Just borrow the identity for who you want to BE. Not what you want to DO. Borrow the feelings and the confidence. But don’t imitate someone else’s style of presenting. It doesn’t work — it sounds inauthentic and boring.
When you choose who you will BE by borrowing an identity, your great feelings totally open you up. Your own words and expression will easily flow right out of you. THAT’S what your listeners want to hear.
A Surprise Bonus
Your creativity completely expands when you’re in this positive, relaxed state. So does your intuition. So the benefits of changing your speaking identity go way beyond reducing your anxiety. You’ll be much more in tune with your audience and how you can best serve them.
Try this for your next speaking gig – of whatever size. I think you’ll be astonished at how different it will go for you. And come back here to let us know how it goes by commenting below.
And if you want some help to permanently change your speaking persona, contact me and we’ll get you going!
