Today we’re talking about getting over the time that you bombed – the audience didn’t click with you, or the technical equipment failed, or you just weren’t at the top of your game. Chances are that if you had a speaking engagement that didn’t go well, it’s affecting your speaking today. It might be on a subtle level, or it might be an in-your-face issue and something that you worry about.
To create a change in your mindset about this, let’s look at a few factors.
It’s My Own Fault
The first one is self-blame – scolding yourself, being angry at yourself or critical of yourself – that whole range of feelings where you know it’s your fault. If you don’t release that self-criticism, it’s VERY hard to let go of anxiety or guilt or any other unwanted feeling.
I Feel Like A Loser
The second factor is the feeling of embarrassment or shame that resulted from having your speech go bad. It’s feeling bad about yourself as a speaker because of that experience. If you carry that feeling, it will play out on subtle levels in the way that you perform. It takes a bite out of your confidence.
Dreading The Next Talk
The third factor is concern about how it’s going to go next time because of what went wrong before. Even if the cause was something like an equipment failure – our body/minds tend to generalize that concern, so now your concern is more widespread. Now you’re on guard for anything that could possibly go wrong.
That creates tension in you. And the tension comes across in your speaking today. Sometimes it shows up as speaking in a kind of aggressive way, when you push on through those concerns. That doesn’t feel good to the audience. They don’t know what you’re being aggressive about. Or sometimes the tension will choke you up and hold you back. Then you come across as less than confident, so we’re going to include that anxiety factor in our tapping.
How To Tap
Here’s how to tap on these concerns that result from a past speaking experience gone wrong.
TAPPING FOR THE PROBLEM
- Even though I have these past speaking issues, I want to accept myself anyway.
- Even though I have this self-blame, embarrassment and anxiety about that speaking incident that went wrong, I want to respect who I am.
- Even though I have all these concerns about that speaking experience that didn’t go well, I want to love and accept myself anyway, because I’m doing the best I can, the same way I always do.
- That frustrating incident.
- I wanted it to go so much better than it did.
- I felt like such an amateur.
- It’s painful to remember how bad I felt about how it went.
- I just couldn’t stand a repeat performance like that.
- Other people do such a better job.
- What’s the matter with me?
- I thought I had it all together.
- And then things just went wrong.
- I should have been so much better than I was.
- I let people down.
- They expected much more from me.
- I don’t ever want that to happen again.
- But I’m not sure how to prevent it.
- Maybe I’m just a crummy speaker.
TAPPING FOR THE SOLUTION
- Even though I still have some bad feelings about that past speaking experience, I’m starting to release them and that feels good.
- Even though a part of me still has some issues about that incident, another part of me has shifted perspective, and I appreciate both parts of me – the part that’s still hanging on and the part that’s letting go.
- Even though I still have a little concern, a little embarrassment, and a little self-criticism, they’re starting to disappear, and I’m making a choice to release the rest of all that.
- I’m holding onto the wisdom and lessons learned.
- And I’m letting go of what’s holding me back.
- I’m making a choice for a fresh start.
- I can look back and laugh at what happened.
- I choose freedom from any anger about it.
- It was just one of those things – A story I can tell in another talk.
- I’m choosing to grow from the experience.
- I can clearly see what I can take forward from it.
- And the rest I choose to leave behind.
- It’s just another speaking experience under my belt.
- Now it’s time to get back to what I enjoy.
- Feeling more confident every time I speak.
- You live and learn.
- And that’s what I choose to do here.
- I’m releasing any possible leftover negativity about it.
- I’m choosing calm confidence and that feels great!
Go Get ‘Em
Try tapping away the bad effects of the past and let us know how your next talk goes by leaving a comment below.
And if it’s time for some outside help with this, contact me and let’s clear that old experience so you can speak confidently.